Ephesians 6:12 at 5:00am

Ephesians 6:12 (NKJ)

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

or

Ephesians 6:12 (NAS)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

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:)

Ok, so I should have written this down tonight, or I should say around 5:00am, but it wasn't a typical night for me and to be honest for a little bit I was scared and had to keep saying 'Jesus is my comfort, I will not be afraid'.

Last night I went to bed at a decent time and woke up around 1:45am or so. I didn't want to get up, but needed to use the restroom (sorry). Well I realized I hadn't brushed my teeth so I did that since I was up. I went back to bed and for some reason my brain would not let me go back to sleep. I think I was awake for about two hours.
I finally fell back to sleep some time after 3:30am. My husbands alarm went off around 4:30am so he could get up for work and around 5:00am I tried to go back to sleep. I was briefly having in and out light dreams where I still felt awake, but I was seeing images in my head.

I think the first one I can only remember in part. I was trying to light a candle for something. It seemed like a wedding, but it was weird. I couldn't reach the thing I was supposed to light and something was in the way. I was weak and having a hard time holding the stick to light the candle, it was just too far away. Then it seemed like a figure similar to the grim reaper was walking down the aisle. I did finally manage to connect the flame to the candle object I was lighting. -ODD-

Then there was a second one. I was at some place, it was much brighter and there were tables. All of a sudden I realized I was old, rapidly getting older and having a hard time walking. I shouted out I'm OLD, I'm OLD...and grasped on to a chair. There were two figures near me and one that seemed to be saying something mean. I glanced up very reluctantly and it was a figure of my grandmother, but her eyes were black empty spaces and I shouted 'NO, I know my grandmother loves me this isn't real!'

After that I was aware and awake and tried to get up, but I felt a heaviness upon me and couldn't move in my bed.(This was very weird, kind of like I was being held down somehow.) I tried to speak but my mouth wouldn't work. I managed to get out something like 'go away!' I was on my left side which I don't usually lay on because of my sore arm, but the hubby and I had been cuddling a little before he left. I couldn't open my eyes, partly out of fear. I tried to think of God in my head and after a few moments I managed to say something garbled, but can't think of the exact word right this minute. I was thinking things in my head to say, but couldn't get my mouth to work well and I finally managed to get something out like this "in Jesus name get out, if there are demons present or any other bad spirit involved in this by the name of Jesus get out!" Just then there was a slight wooshing noise that went past my fan. (YES weird...I was scared stiff.) I have a personal desk fan next to my pillow and it was behind me.
As I cast the situation to the feet of Jesus and said all that I knew to say there was the sound of something having moved past my fan. *shiver* To be honest I laid there wondering if I'd hear the noise again so I could say "ok, it's just in my head and my fan is weird". After 10 minutes I never heard any other sound.

Ok, so we know that the bible tells us that if we call on Jesus name or speak in His name there is power. To feel or see it happen can be overwhelming. After a few minutes I felt safe enough to move to my back, but still didn't open my eyes. I listened and just kept thinking over and over truths about God and not to have fear. I even prayed in my head, "God I'm sorry I'm repeating these things over and over, but this is how my mind is and I need to right now." Then I tried to think of the words to the song 'Jesus, lover of my soul' and after a little while my body calmed down and I thanked God for helping me. :)


The weird thing about this is that I've been curious about Intercessory prayer since I joined the Beth Moore Prayer Encourager team for a simulcast we had at our church on the 18th of September. We had weekly pre-simulcast prayer meetings and a woman mentioned that we need more intercessors.

This reminded me of a book we had to do for the Youth Leaders and the altar ministry team at a former church. I had glanced through the book "Intercessory Prayer" by Dutch Sheets and he had shared a story about a man who had gone up and down up and down in his faith & situations in life. They had prayed for this man, but the situation wasn't changing. They had then done some indepth intercessory prayer over him about any possible demonic forces causing this and after a time he was healed. I'll try to find it and quote it officially if I can.

This made me wonder if some of my issues needed intercession since prayer and will power was not changing some of the bad things going on in my brain long term. I was on the edge of asking some trusted people to help me, but with weird church experiences in my past it's hard to know sometimes what is "real" and what is "churchy-weirdness".

I had been thinking about it and wondering to God how to know if this is something we can, should, or need to do. I had mentioned to another friend of mine, at the beginning of the summer, that I was worried there was a spirit of divorce coming against my home because there was a close call here in 2009 and I prayed and prayed. Shortly after these thoughts, I learned my neighbors were surprisingly getting seperated and 3 of my friends were in process. I even had a thought, did it try my house and then go next door?--does that happen? :(

Makes me think the issue with lighting the candle, my weakness in doing it myself, and the symbol of death walking down the aisle were definite signs of that.

Not sure exactly about the second part I saw...but I knew it was false.

I don't know if I've ever experienced this physically as I did this morning, but I know that God loves us and will hear us when we need Him.


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I also had a revelation. Early on in my spiritual journey I sensed a gifting in discerning of spirits, but with my past I became fearful of it and pushed it away. I finally resolved myself that it was situational and or weird and didn't want to think about it. Maybe God would choose that for me, but I will need Him for sure if that be the case.
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Ok, whew...8:45am and I better get on to this day. :) God is good!!!!!!!

~Sam

Fall is here!

It seems as if the fall just came upon us September 1st. We had been having very warm temps, high humidity, and lots of rain in the weeks and months prior. Then just as it was time for school to start the cool breeze came in. It's so wonderful outside. Usually this is the time of year I take advantage of the nice breeze and go out rollerblading more often.

Well, that would be before my accident. August 14th we celebrated our 11th Anniversary and the following day I was invited to go rollerblading with a friend. I jumped at the chance because I had been wanting to go out all that day and there was a wonderful cool breeze all day that was calling my name.

I strapped on my skates and skated up and down the driveway, up and down the road, and back up and down my driveway until my friend dropped by with her skates. We hit the road and went down the bike trail by the library. We decided to check out a new trail by the dam and it started out nice, but a little tricky. There were a lot of sticks and seeds or tree debris laying around. We had a few storms in the past week and so that was probably why.

As we came down a small incline I noticed there was a small family with stroller and dog and didn't want to collide with them or be rude and force them out of the way. I hadn't realized that two different trails were about to merge and it looked as if there was a lot of dirt on the path. I decided to move myself towards the grass where there was a picnic table. I glanced back to make sure I wasn't going to cut off my friend and ended up hitting the grass differently than planned. I was hoping to use it to slow down and sit at the picnic table while we decided whether or not to continue down this trail.

Unfortunately that wouldn't become an option because as soon as I hit the grass I realized it was somewhat damp and squishy there and my left skate proceeded to leave the ground without me. Then, my body decided to follow as I was somehow launched up into the air and then landed on the back of my arm/wrist with my body. I knew immediately something was wrong, but otherwise I was ok. I was worried that I had dislocated my wrist.

My friend came to my side as I held my wrist to my chest and said, "Just pray for me". I wasn't sure what to do and if I let go of my hand I was in a lot of pain. I decided to take off my skates quickly and walk back up the hill to the main road. My wonderful friend skated all the way back to my home and got her vehicle. While I was waiting at the corner, a nice family stopped to see if I needed help and called my house for me. My friend showed up shortly and we were on our way to the ER.

I talked a lot to keep myself from thinking of the pain. When we got there they wanted me to sign some papers, but I couldn't let go of my hand. One of the workers there gave me an ice pack, but the ER was fairly busy that night. My friend sat with me while we waited a little over an hour and then I was finally called in. They wanted to put something on my arm to help me, but that hurt too much. Then they brought me into a room and talked about what they would need to do. I had to have an IV, get X-rays, and then wait a while longer for a different doctor to be called in. They ended up having to sedate me so they could try to put my wrist back in the correct position.

After my hubby got the kids in bed his dad stayed upstairs in case any of the kids got up and he drove over to relieve my friend and sit with me until I was done in the ER. It was a long night and they ended up taking lots of X-rays and wrapping my arm from the elbow to the hand. I was given some pain meds and left there around midnight. I was told that I would have to see a specialist in Eau Claire for surgery because it was an unstable fracture that could not be casted or fixed in any other way.

It was rough the next couple days, but I managed to get through it until I saw the Surgeon in Eau Claire. I had one appointment as a consultation and then the following Friday I had surgery. (Nearly a week after the incident.) I was quite nervous about surgery, but the nurses there did an amazing job. They were really good at getting the blood work and IV in. Never had it go that smoothly anywhere.

They had to put a needle in my underarm to block that arm from pain. That was very sore for about a week. They ended up using a laser to cut open my wrist and then screwed a titanium plate into my radius. I saw a lot of X-rays of it and it was a little weird to realize that I have screws in my arm. The best part...I was able to mostly sleep through the whole morning surgery.

The next couple days after the pain wore off were bad...really bad. Thankfully though it did not last forever and after a week or so I had to stop taking the pain meds because they were making everything worse. I started to get better a day or two after that. When it comes down to it I would rather have some pain/discomfort than feel nauseated all day, unable to eat, and unable to do much other than lay down.

My friends and church family were so great bringing meals and some groceries to us for about a week and a half. Yes, we ate too well and gained a little weight, but it was SUCH a blessing. My hubby was able to get a few weeks off work (FMLA) to help with my needs and take care of our kids.

I just had my second Occupational Therapy visit Thursday at 3 weeks past surgery and I'm starting to do well. I was finally able to drive for a little bit and catch up on some meetings for church events and pick up Julian from preschool on Wednesday.

Had I known my summer would be turned upside down, just like that, perhaps I would have stayed home that day and not gone rollerblading. I am telling parents now to make sure their kids use wrist guards if they skate board or rollerblade. I didn't have a horrible crash or accident, I mostly just slipped and landed wrong...but that's all it takes.

I am so thankful for all those that prayed for me in my healing and helped my family. I am hopeful that by the end of October I will be able to use my hand/arm well again. I will probably be a little nervous to skate again next year, but maybe as long as I get myself some wrist guards it will be ok.