For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
or
Ephesians 6:12 (NAS)
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
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:)
Ok, so I should have written this down tonight, or I should say around 5:00am, but it wasn't a typical night for me and to be honest for a little bit I was scared and had to keep saying 'Jesus is my comfort, I will not be afraid'.
Last night I went to bed at a decent time and woke up around 1:45am or so. I didn't want to get up, but needed to use the restroom (sorry). Well I realized I hadn't brushed my teeth so I did that since I was up. I went back to bed and for some reason my brain would not let me go back to sleep. I think I was awake for about two hours.
I finally fell back to sleep some time after 3:30am. My husbands alarm went off around 4:30am so he could get up for work and around 5:00am I tried to go back to sleep. I was briefly having in and out light dreams where I still felt awake, but I was seeing images in my head.
I think the first one I can only remember in part. I was trying to light a candle for something. It seemed like a wedding, but it was weird. I couldn't reach the thing I was supposed to light and something was in the way. I was weak and having a hard time holding the stick to light the candle, it was just too far away. Then it seemed like a figure similar to the grim reaper was walking down the aisle. I did finally manage to connect the flame to the candle object I was lighting. -ODD-
Then there was a second one. I was at some place, it was much brighter and there were tables. All of a sudden I realized I was old, rapidly getting older and having a hard time walking. I shouted out I'm OLD, I'm OLD...and grasped on to a chair. There were two figures near me and one that seemed to be saying something mean. I glanced up very reluctantly and it was a figure of my grandmother, but her eyes were black empty spaces and I shouted 'NO, I know my grandmother loves me this isn't real!'
After that I was aware and awake and tried to get up, but I felt a heaviness upon me and couldn't move in my bed.(This was very weird, kind of like I was being held down somehow.) I tried to speak but my mouth wouldn't work. I managed to get out something like 'go away!' I was on my left side which I don't usually lay on because of my sore arm, but the hubby and I had been cuddling a little before he left. I couldn't open my eyes, partly out of fear. I tried to think of God in my head and after a few moments I managed to say something garbled, but can't think of the exact word right this minute. I was thinking things in my head to say, but couldn't get my mouth to work well and I finally managed to get something out like this "in Jesus name get out, if there are demons present or any other bad spirit involved in this by the name of Jesus get out!" Just then there was a slight wooshing noise that went past my fan. (YES weird...I was scared stiff.) I have a personal desk fan next to my pillow and it was behind me.
As I cast the situation to the feet of Jesus and said all that I knew to say there was the sound of something having moved past my fan. *shiver* To be honest I laid there wondering if I'd hear the noise again so I could say "ok, it's just in my head and my fan is weird". After 10 minutes I never heard any other sound.
Ok, so we know that the bible tells us that if we call on Jesus name or speak in His name there is power. To feel or see it happen can be overwhelming. After a few minutes I felt safe enough to move to my back, but still didn't open my eyes. I listened and just kept thinking over and over truths about God and not to have fear. I even prayed in my head, "God I'm sorry I'm repeating these things over and over, but this is how my mind is and I need to right now." Then I tried to think of the words to the song 'Jesus, lover of my soul' and after a little while my body calmed down and I thanked God for helping me. :)
The weird thing about this is that I've been curious about Intercessory prayer since I joined the Beth Moore Prayer Encourager team for a simulcast we had at our church on the 18th of September. We had weekly pre-simulcast prayer meetings and a woman mentioned that we need more intercessors.
This reminded me of a book we had to do for the Youth Leaders and the altar ministry team at a former church. I had glanced through the book "Intercessory Prayer" by Dutch Sheets and he had shared a story about a man who had gone up and down up and down in his faith & situations in life. They had prayed for this man, but the situation wasn't changing. They had then done some indepth intercessory prayer over him about any possible demonic forces causing this and after a time he was healed. I'll try to find it and quote it officially if I can.
This made me wonder if some of my issues needed intercession since prayer and will power was not changing some of the bad things going on in my brain long term. I was on the edge of asking some trusted people to help me, but with weird church experiences in my past it's hard to know sometimes what is "real" and what is "churchy-weirdness".
I had been thinking about it and wondering to God how to know if this is something we can, should, or need to do. I had mentioned to another friend of mine, at the beginning of the summer, that I was worried there was a spirit of divorce coming against my home because there was a close call here in 2009 and I prayed and prayed. Shortly after these thoughts, I learned my neighbors were surprisingly getting seperated and 3 of my friends were in process. I even had a thought, did it try my house and then go next door?--does that happen? :(
Makes me think the issue with lighting the candle, my weakness in doing it myself, and the symbol of death walking down the aisle were definite signs of that.
Not sure exactly about the second part I saw...but I knew it was false.
I don't know if I've ever experienced this physically as I did this morning, but I know that God loves us and will hear us when we need Him.
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I also had a revelation. Early on in my spiritual journey I sensed a gifting in discerning of spirits, but with my past I became fearful of it and pushed it away. I finally resolved myself that it was situational and or weird and didn't want to think about it. Maybe God would choose that for me, but I will need Him for sure if that be the case.
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Ok, whew...8:45am and I better get on to this day. :) God is good!!!!!!!
~Sam
Sam,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to all your saying here. I have had similar experiences myself, praise be to God it's been years now since bad/false dreams trying to haunt me, intense fear accompanied by a sensed spirit or force of some kind. I'm glad you turn to prayer, you and I are alike in that way. I have also read the book you mentioned by Dutch Sheets, good book.
I do believe as we step out as members of God's family, His body, doing His work, the enemy definitely tries to come against us in any way he can. Using the powerful word of God, spoken outloud is a very powerful weapon that the enemy cannot stand against, but remember even he quoted scripture back to Jesus in rebuttal to Him, so we must, must, MUST remain in His word DAILY. Do not let this worry you though, He is mighty enough to bring you even the discipline and obedience needed to do this every, single day.
I have walked through my house reading aloud scriptures when I have felt under attack. This house is sanctioned let me tell ya! And I am extremely blessed to have my husband come alongside me and do the same if need be.
My dreams have even changed. I used to have nightmares nightly that would literally wake me up screaming and sweating. Not any longer. Even in my dreams God has transformed my mind so much that I quote scripture in my dreams. Even if it's the simple, yet most powerful name of Jesus Christ. Just saying His name outloud and remembering all that His name means to me outloud pushes any negative, fearful thoughts away.
Thank you for sharing and asking me to be a part of this. As God leads, I will pray for you.
Thanks,
ReplyDeleteI've had dreams that involved spiritual warfare...especially when I am deepest in the word. I can definitely tell the difference in the morning when I've had those.
This was just so different because I was partly awake and there were physical senses involved. I wasn't able to write about it very well being that it was hours later and the kids were out here talking with me. I thought about writing right away so it was still fresh, but for some reason I was still a little nervous that if I did it would come back. I just wanted to focus on God at that moment, thank Him for helping me, and try to sleep...so I didn't have to open my eyes in my room. Yes, I'm a wimp. LOL
Even though I had pondered intercession in the past month, I can't say that I thought about it a lot. This seemed so random and out of the blue, yet I think God was using it somehow. What the enemy plans for evil, God will use for his Glory! I've realized that I do need to be more aware of things around me and make sure I have more time focused on the Word. The only other thing I can think of is that I had posted a note on Facebook before bed as a declaration that I was not going to stand for some of the things going on with me. I had wanted to do some reading in the bible, but felt tired. Next time I think if I feel prompted I better follow through.
I do need to pray over this house, we never did when we moved here. I know that the hubby would not do that with me, but at some point I may ask some friends to come help, even if it's just to walk around the perimeter of the yard/house.
**
The only other time something happened where I thought I heard something this year was when in mid-deep sleep I thought I heard my dad call my name and just before I opened my eyes I thought that ther was something like a face looking down on me. At least, I thought it sounded like my dad but different, it just sounded so familiar. I sat upright in bed and looked around. Aaron was out and then of course I had a fleeting thought, did my dad die and he's trying to let me know? I figured it wasn't that, but that maybe God was trying to get my attention. I sat up for a while and then walked out to the kitchen just in case someone had come in our home or something. I shared that experience with a friend and she laughed (nicely) and said, well, your name is Sam and that happened somewhat to Samuel. I said, yeah but he heard something more than once...and I'm no Samuel.
(Although it did get my attention and I won't forget that voice.)
Thanks for reading this and sharing with me. There was some fear in me that telling anyone about this there would be someone who would think I was losing my mind. Is that wrong?
:)I'm used to being considered weird, but as a mom you don't want people to think your "off".
Don't fear other people thinking you're losing your mind. We truly are aliens in this world, and we will definitely be thought of as weird. It is a blessing, not a curse. Once we get used to it, we accept it better. At first there may be some people pleasing factors involved that need to be "purged out" though.
ReplyDeleteGod's word truly does transform our minds. If you think you saw or felt something, I have also in my lifetime. I could probably scare you with some stories, but I will not give any glory to the enemy. He is real, but certainly not as powerful as our Father, who is our strength. Just let it be said I have had my own encounters with the enemy and he doesn't come around the way he used to anymore. He still uses his tactics, and God still uses it all for good because I love Him and I am His child.
I would be willing to come to your house and pray with you if you would like. Let me know if you would like to do this and we can set up a time to meet. Otherwise, don't feel like it has to be formal. It's just a matter of claiming that ground for His glory.
Keep in Ephesians 6 with the armor of God for now. Memorize it if you haven't already. It comes in mighty handy let me tell ya!
I can understand what you mean about not giving any glory to the enemy. That's one of the other reasons I wasn't sure I wanted to write about it right away, but there are also times when I think God wants me to have mile-marker posts in my faith walk to help me remember where I've been and where I'm going so that I don't look back and think..."the only time I can think of that God really moved in my life was _____(an event 10 years ago or so)". He is finding small ways here and there where He makes Himself known to me so I REMEMBER. I also had some rough times in my early years of faith...and issues from my pre-faith spiritual choices and experiences. There are some heavy things from those days that I rarely if ever talk about just for the above mentioned reason. I have not really had anything like this happen since then that I can think of at the moment, but I definitely feel a difference in me the last couple days. A GOOD difference. And a difference in the home. I'm making sure to pray for protection over our home and even to the borders of our property. For now though what ever it was I feel completely sure that it's gone. :) I'm glad to know though that we can relate on some things and that I can share with you, thank you! <3
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you feel better. I didn't mean to make it sound like we shouldn't share or talk about stuff. Just some things that are so wicked and evil in my own past just tends to bring up more of its own, so I just relate the basics to get the idea across as prompted by the Holy Spirit.
ReplyDeleteI think it's important though to be able to share with others honestly and to let others know if we might've been in their shoes. It makes a difference in whether or not they'll be able to trust us, or believe that we really know where they're coming from I think.
Those are experiences in our lives that we can use for God's glory, for His territory to be reclaimed. It was stolen, and now it's time to get it back! No matter what evil took place over it, it is ours rightfully so.
Beth Moore talks about this in her DVD I'm going through right now. I love it! I get into this spiritual warfare stuff, this reclaiming my ground. I feel a lot has been taken from me and I want it back! I swear I could'a been Zina, the Warrior Princess!
Just read through this again...I think the sensation of becoming rapidly old may have possibly symbolized a sense of being drained...draining my "life".
ReplyDeleteJesus changed my life, but things have come against me and my own issues draining my effectiveness...trying to defeat me so I was a dead believer....