Undeserved Grace

I was able to catch a good portion of the Bible story on TV tonight. I am not certain if I saw it all, but I primarily came in on the segment of Saul. This got the writing gears turning in my brain and I decided to sit down and just do it.

I've had a few personal God-teachings come to mind lately that God had given me word pictures for and I really wish I would have made time to write them down. He always seems to help me see things the way I need to when going through hard times. I love how the Creator will use creative means to speak to a creative-type person.  :) 

This blog posting is dedicated to Dina who commented to me a couple weeks ago that she missed my writing and was very encouraging to me.

~~~Returning to Saul and the spark that got me thinking tonight...



I can't help but think of times in my own life when I hear his story. Albeit my life is quite different...I remember the emotional responses. (Read Acts chapter 9 for the section on the road to Damascus)

My first flash back would be to Jr. High, in the locker room. There was a girl there that was fairly new to the school, but something about her intrigued me and I thought she was kind of cool. I would talk to her on occasion and I don't really remember the full context of our conversation that day, but I do remember her response. "My mom and I don't believe in God, I don't believe in God" was what she said.
I remember playing off the rest of the conversation on another topic while I stood at the door waiting for her...but in the back of my mind I thought it was odd. I had never even considered that there was an option before. I just assumed it was something everyone believed in. So many people wearing cross necklaces, going to church on Sunday...how did I get along all this time in my life up to 7th grade and not realize that it was an option?

I think it was weird though that I had this internal dialogue looking back on it. I didn't actively pray or read my bible as a kid other than occasionally reciting the "now I lay me prayer" before bedtime. I guess I just felt connected to God as a kid and trusted Him. I grew up going to a Lutheran church and when we were able to attend I loved it. I was immersed in choir, helping with the nursery, and trying out for plays when there was a chance. I loved everything about it as a kid.

When my dad went to Korea the summer after 5th grade we needed to move and I guess around the age of 11 or so we stopped going to church. Through life situations between then and leading up to 7th grade, this lead me into a spiral of thoughts over the following years about what to believe in...so many choices out there...so many different paths that people take to escape life, to look for purpose...to find acceptance.

When your world gets rocked...you may grasp at straws.

I remember over the months and years that passed...facing hardships, being bullied A LOT, the transition of a family split, difficult situations with police/abusers....I became hard. I started to become annoyed if anyone at school talked about God...in fact I got more than annoyed, I got quite angry. I remember in one class wanting to leave if someone there didn't shut up about it.

I started hanging out downtown with some friends and one of the places we frequented was a christian youth outreach center. I think I had gone there a couple times before I realized it was a God centered place.

I was still in the mind-set of looking for opportunities to escape life, to drink, get high, party, find self-worth through relationships, car surfing, what ever it was that seemed fun even if it risked my/our lives or put me/us at odds with the law or family.

I remember one day one of my good friends telling me in confidence that she had finally talked with "the Jesus guy" that often visited this youth center (a youth pastor from a local church). She mentioned that it was really starting to impact her and that she was really wanting to visit their church and check out their youth group.

At this phase in my life when ever I closed my eyes all I saw was skulls. I mention this because I was sleeping over at her house that night and not sleeping much because every time I closed my eyes it was weird. That and who sleeps at a sleepover! :)
-----I was hard...I told her it was a freakish cult and to stay away from them.
Years later I did regret talking her out of an opportunity that could have changed her life forever.
I will never know. :/

Oddly enough...just a matter of months after that incident God worked out an opportunity for me.

That night I couldn't find my friends and decided to take a walk up the alley to see if they had possibly gone to one of the new coffee shops. I didn't normally walk this way, but it was a nice night. I turned right after the alley and headed around the block towards one of the goth clubs in case my friends were out in front of there. No luck.
I turned right again past another coffee shop, pizza place, and tattoo parlor when I saw the youth pastor and some of his youth walking towards me.

In my mind I wanted to turn around at first. I quickly talked myself out of it though because I figured I could just walk past them and it wouldn't be a big deal. Besides, I was tougher than they were.

When they approached me I didn't really look at them but kept walking. I don't remember the exact details of that evening, but in my memory the first words I remember the pastor saying to me were
 " Do you Believe in God ?"

I think in a millisecond I remembered my childhood in church, that moment in 7th grade, all the decisions I had made in the between time...everything and all that was in me knew I couldn't say no. I initially tried to rationalize it...I thought UGH...if I answer them I'll have to stay there and talk to them...I should just keep walking. But it almost seemed like there was a dome over us and we were separated from the rest of the world for a moment. I looked up into the sky and back at them...I even remember thinking if I said no I'd be struck down right there.

I mumbled a soft yes...

...and then they went over what that means.(Prayer of salvation, Who Jesus is, Why He is important, etc.)

We talked for a while, they invited me to a youth trip and I couldn't believe what was happening. Within a few minutes of our conversation ending two of my friends rushed up and took me by the arms and walked me off saying that they had been looking for me "forever". There was a moment...I almost hesitated...as if there was a line on the ground and I was choosing to step across. I thought that something was different and I shouldn't go with them now...but then I just went on with them anyway as they pulled at my arms.

Not realizing just then, but that everything in my life from that moment, no matter what choices I made, would be different.

The crazy thing is...my story didn't end there. Life wasn't instantly happy go lucky. It wasn't rosy and perfect and miraculously changed in the physical world of home, school, and life in general. Now that I was a...Christian...by the testimony of my mouth, in that moment, on the street that night many years ago, God didn't take all the pain, hurt, hardship and future suffering away.

 My life got harder...and much worse in many ways that could be multiple blog postings by themselves.
I made worse decisions, fell into deeper hardships, struggled worse at home and school...but in the end...I survived through it all and the only credit I give to that is to God alone. If it weren't for the AMAZING and UNDESERVED GRACE of Jesus Christ I would not be here today. I would not have made it through without Him.

Have I done service to the call He put on my life....I would say that I often feel I fall short, but it is the cry of my heart to serve Him in all I do. I struggle at times even with fellow believers feeling that I am being judged and for some crazy reason instead of saying GOD help me, my anxiety kicks in and I often will beat myself down.

This doesn't happen all the time, but sometimes life get's hard and we forget that we don't need to keep standing in the mud when we fall in.. He will lift us up and clean us off and give us the biggest spiritual HUG that we really need. Sometimes it's in thought and His presence wraps around us, other times it's a well timed word from a friend. Someone just letting you know they care.

God saved me from some crazy bad things in life...healed me and set me free in ways that the Glory and credit can only go to HIM there is no other explanation.

This is a new year...I can't passively allow myself to stay in chains...I need to remember I've been given wings and He has put a call on my life; to be mindful of 2 Timothy 4:1-5 (NAS).
These specific verses seemed to leap off the pages of my bible from the first time I read them in my new  bible as a teen:

``Preach the Word" I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

***And keeping in mind Ephesians 4 :)***



I feel about the least qualified to ever be in a position to preach the word...especially with my social anxiety that occasionally flares up, BUT I do remember when issues of faith came up in the past and I needed to speak that I felt the strength beyond me to do it. :) I knew it was a God thing and I trust Him to be there for me when I need Him.

What has been holding me back these past 10+ years?

Well much of it has been in the 'desert' and for some reason I had some big life lessons to learn, I had to get over my own stubbornness, I had some hardships in the past that needed time for proper healing and I'm still healing, but God's not done with me yet. I'm still here and I have a job to do until that time is done.In the mean time, everything is an opportunity to learn, serve, and bless. :)

I have had many ideas for writing, but I have not made time to write in the past year very much. Especially since our PC crashed.
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HOPE

A little more than a year ago I shared a lesson on Hope with our local SAMmy's Menomonie women.
This morning it came to mind that I should share it here in case someone may be looking for some encouragement. :)


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hope
GOD wants to give us HOPE.


Segment One

What does hope mean to you and how would you define it?
Sit for a moment and reflect upon the memories and thoughts that the word HOPE brings to your mind.

The dictionary has this to say about hope:

• The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
• A person or thing in which expectations are centered.
• To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
• To believe, desire, or trust.
• To feel that something desired may happen.
• (Archaic) to place trust; rely

Words of hope from the bible:
Depending on your translation, you will find that hope comes up in the bible more than 100 times in various forms and situations. Ranging from an average of 130 verses to 140 verses. Compound that with a rich language where you’ll find at least six different words used for Hope in the Hebrew and two different words for Hope in the Greek and it makes one wonder if we aren’t missing something sometimes.

Let’s settle in on one verse for the moment. It may be familiar to you and many of you may even have it memorized. But let’s forget for a moment that you know this verse and we will pick it apart and study the Hebrew transliterated words for that verse to see if we can gain some insight.

Segment 2

Jeremiah 29:11 (NAS)
“For I ________ the ________that I ________ for you,” ____________ the ________, “________ for ________ and not for __________ to give you a __________ and a __________.”

If you have a different version from the New American Standard (NAS) jot down what your bible says.


Below I will share the Hebrew Transliterated words for all the blanks in the above scripture. Now, this is just for insight, don’t feel overwhelmed, in fact feel free to skim over this if it does not interest you. I won’t be quizzing you on these later or expecting correct pronunciation, however I have added my own tip in the parenthesis of how it sounds.

The following are the Hebrew transliterated words from this verse:

• ידע yada` : know v.
to know, learn to know, perceive, distinguish, know by experience, recognize, admit, acknowledge, acquainted with, know intimately, to be made known, to be revealed.
(ya Dah)

• מחשבה machashabah : plans n. fem.
thought, device, plan, purpose, invention
(ma ha sheh vet)

• חשב : chashab : have v.
to think, plan, esteem, calculate, invent, make a judgment, imagine, count, to consider, to be mindful of.
(hah shav)

• נאם : nĕ'um : declares n. masc.
utterance, declaration (prophet), revelation of prophet in ecstatic state or always preceding Divine name.
(neh oom)

• יהוה : Yĕhovah : Jehovah = “the existing One” (LORD)
Proper name of the one true God. Unpronounced except with the vowel
pointings of אדני : 'Adonay (reference = searchgodsword.org)
’Adonay (ad OH nigh) n. masc. is used in place of Yahweh or Jehovah in Jewish display of reverence.

• שלום : shalowm : welfare/peace n. masc.
completeness in number, soundness in body, welfare-health-prosperity, peace, quiet, tranquility, contentment, friendship with God, friendship with others, peace from war
(sha lome)

• רעה : re`eh : friend, friend of the king (technical sense) used where they have the word calamity n. masc.
(ray air)

• נתן : nathan : give v.
give, bestow, grant, permit, devote, dedicate, consecrate, pay wages, sell, exchange, lend, commit, entrust, give over, deliver up, yield produce, stretch out, extend, to put on, appoint, designate, be provided, be entrusted to, be granted to, be permitted, …
( Na Thahn)

• אחרית : 'achariyth : future n. fem.
after, part, end-end issue, end event, latter time (prophetic), posterity, last, hindermost
(AH har eat)

• תקוה : tiqvah : hope n. fem.
cord, hope, expectation, ground of hope, things hoped for, outcome, longing
(Tik Vah)

Think about this, if you insert what can be learned from the Hebrew text it may read this way:

For I know-I know you
the plans-plans that will be revealed, that I have thought and purposed toward you
that I have-have thought and considered
for you" declares-by revelation
the LORD-the existing One, the One true God
"plans-plans that are being revealed
for welfare-peace, completeness, soundness in body, friendship with God and man, contentment, tranquility
and not for calamity-for you are a friend of God
to give you a future-something for a latter time
and a hope.-a joyful expectation, something longed for

***
What we did on this section of the lesson was one person volunteered to speak the verse in bold while another person, with emphasis, added the deeper meanings to the word that were in gray(italics). If you can find someone to read this with you it may help.
***

How do you feel when you look at Jeremiah 29:11 with insight from the Hebrew text?

Was there new insight for you? Record your thoughts if you are journaling though this topic.


Segment 3

What is faith and is it tied to hope? Let’s glance at Hebrews 11:1 in three different translations.

Hebrews 11:1 -- elpizō
--(NAS) Now faith is the assurance of (things) hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

--(NLT) What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen.
It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.

--(NKJ) Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.


This is just one scripture reference. I wonder, have you consciously paired the two before now or is this a new thought?



Segment Three

What about Hopelessness?
Do we want to go there? Some of us have been there? If you are there now please, please let someone pray for you and with you!

I remember a time when I felt hopeless. I wanted to end my life.

On more than one occasion in my teen years I succumbed to hopelessness…despair…languish. I thought choosing to end my life would make it all go away. While in truth it essentially will, God did not write that into my story. I would not have the blessings I do now with my 4 children, I would not have the blessings of community within my church, and I would not have the blessings of community within SAMmy’s Menomonie. I remember on one occasion I decided to cut my wrist…I thought I would take a nap in my room and let the situation take care of itself. I was living with my grandmother at the time and trying to be secretive about my intentions. For some reason I could not find anything to cut with so I just decided to take some sewing pins and make a feeble attempt.

The whole while I talked to God about my life, the hardships I had endured, the hardships I was in, and the desperation I felt. I thought…God I can’t do this…it’s too hard. If you are really there you’ll need to intervene here and help me.
I had an empty bottle in case I needed it so that I wouldn’t make a mess on my grandmothers couch. I had a blanket…and my pins. I worked at it painfully trying to manage something…anything…some result. I am purposefully not being graphic here. I did fall asleep and woke up later to a sore, bruised, swollen wrist. My attempts were unsuccessful, but it didn’t change my feelings of despair fully.
God used that situation though to plant a memory in my life…and He has since restored much of what I was dealing with at that time…if not but for a few personal items of baggage I have struggled to surrender and find healing with as he graciously and lovingly works on me over the years.(*A year later now I have learned to surrender even more*)
If we lose focus on the Lord…and allow our circumstances to dictate our lives…our future…we can become susceptible to despair. It can start small, but unaddressed it can spiral downward and blind you to the truth of God.
GOD wants to give us HOPE.

The Dictionary defines Hopelessness as: providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; desperate without hope; despairing

Sadly it is a condition of humanity that is equal opportunity. It can affect anyone and everyone. We’d like to think it only affects –X- type of people…but we have to be mindful that it has the potential, left unchecked, to affect us all. We are not victims of our circumstances we are “friends of God”, daughters(children) of God through the redemption and faith in our Lord Jesus. Our Loving God, who desires for us to have peace, friendship, joy, and HOPE through nothing but Him. A God who is the author of our story...the One true God who has a future in mind for us. A God who desires to know you, to heal you, to bless you and to work through you to bless others.

“In life, the hard times can expose our dark side, that which needs to be addressed.” Our pastor spoke on this a couple months ago. (2010/2011?) After thinking about what he said I wrote this note and put it on my bulletin board.
“In life, the hard times expose our dark side, that which needs to be addressed. When it surfaces, we need to address it, humble ourselves, and seek forgiveness if we want God to use us. We ALL struggle with this @ times in our life. How we respond will be based on whether or not we trust and believe God…or if we trust and believe in ourselves. There is NO hopelessness in Christ!”

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*For your own study reference I have included the information below if you would like to go deeper in your study. searchgodsword.org is a great tool to use if you are someone who likes to dig into the text, look up various translations and understand the Greek and Hebrew texts or history of the bible.(As well as listen to pronunciation of certain words.)

Words used in the bible for Hope (Greek & Hebrew)
*sounds in parenthesis are based on my own sounding out and not authentic phonetic spelling. R’s and H’s are guttural.
---Hebrew---
tiqvah (tik vah) N. feminine
miqveh (mik vay –or- mik veh) N. masculine
yachal (yaw hal) V. --to wait, hope, expect
towcheleth (toe high lech) N. feminine --hope
seber (sab ber) N. masculine –hope (only 2 places in the bible Psalms 119:116 & 146:5)
qavah (Ka vah) V. to wait, look for, hope, expect, to wait or look eagerly for

---Greek---
elpizō (El pied zo) V. --used religiously in reference to hope. Trust, waiting for salvation with joy & full confidence.
elpis (el peace) N. feminine –expectation of good, joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation.

Some scriptures that use various forms of “hope”.

--Psalms 31:24 = Hope = yachal
“Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who HOPE in the Lord.”
--Psalm 39:7 = Hope = towcheleth
“And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My HOPE is in you.”
--Psalms 119:116 = Hope = seber
“Sustain me according to your word, that I may live; and do not let me be ashamed of my HOPE.
--Matthew 12:21 = Hope = elpizō
“And in His name the gentiles will HOPE.
--Romans 15:13 = Hope = elpis (both)
“May the God of HOPE fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
--Jeremiah 14:22 = Hope = qavah
“Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, O LORD our God. Therefore our HOPE is in you, for you are the one who does all this.”

Segment Five:

Brief Overview of Jeremiah : *Prophet* “One who is divinely inspired to communicate God’s will to His people and to disclose the future to them.” —New Unger's Bible Dictionary
-Jeremiah's father was an ordinary priest. (As in -not "the priest" or a "high priest")
-In the thirteenth year of King Josiah’s reign Jeremiah received his prophetical call. (He was very young.)
-He helped forward the reformation of religion under Josiah. One of his first missions was to proclaim God's message in Jerusalem. There were many ups and downs and he was also a prophet to the neighboring nations.

Matthew Henry Concise Commentary says the following:
(Jer. 1:1-10)
"The Lord who formed us, knows for what particular services and purposes he intended us. But unless he sanctify us by his new-creating Spirit, we shall neither be fit for his holy service on earth, nor his holy happiness in heaven. ...
But though a sense of our own weakness and insufficiency should make us go humbly about our work, it should not make us draw back when God calls us. Those who have messages to deliver from God, must not fear the face of man. The Lord, by a sign, gave Jeremiah such a gift as was necessary. God's message should be delivered in his own words. Whatever wordly wise men or politicians may think, the safety of kingdoms is decided according to the purpose and word of God.—Matthew Henry Concise”

---In reference to Chapter 29:
Captives in Babylon receive two letters from Jeremiah.
The letters recommend that they be patient and compose themselves...that God has not forsaken them.
"While the king of Babylon protected them, they must live quiet and peaceable lives under him, in all godliness and honesty; patiently leaving it to God to work deliverance for them in due time.—Matthew Henry Concise"
And in relation to their captivity:
"God promises that they should return after seventy years were accomplished. By this it appears, that the seventy years of the captivity are not to be reckoned from the last captivity, but the first. It will be the bringing to pass of God's good word to them. This shall form God's purposes. We often do not know our own minds, but the Lord is never at an uncertainty.
—Matthew Henry Concise"

In relation to hope:
"He will give them, not the expectations of their fears, or the expectations of their fancies, but the expectations of their faith; the end he has promised, which will be the best for them. When the Lord pours out an especial spirit of prayer, it is a good sign that he is coming toward us in mercy. Promises are given to quicken and encourage prayer.
—Matthew Henry Concise"

In the second letter judgments are denounced against the false prophets who deceived them.

"Jeremiah foretells judgments upon the false prophets, who deceived the Jews in Babylon. Lying was bad; lying to the people of the Lord, to delude them into a false hope, was worse; but pretending to rest their own lies upon the God of truth, was worst of all.
—Matthew Henry Concise"

"The accusations against many active Christians in all ages, amount to no more than this, that they earnestly counsel men to attend to their true interest and duties, and to wait for the performance of God's promises in His appointed way.
—Matthew Henry Concise"

So, do we have anything in common with the captives in Babylon?
Maybe a smidge. Can we take this encouragement and promise of hope from God (Jer. 29:11) to his people in Babylon as truth that He would council to us in our time?

I believe that HE knows the plans He has for us…NOTE: HIS plans, not OUR plans. I also believe that God intends good for us and that our future in Heaven is secure as we trust, hope, walk, and believe in Christ. I definitely believe that His intentions towards us are not for harm. I believe God wants to be our hope AND give us hope…in fact He Did. JESUS


So, what can we lose by putting ALL our faith and hope in Him?


Mark 12:30 says: (Jesus speaking) “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength”. The following verse also says to love our neighbor as ourselves and even though this was Jesus talking to a Scribe, these were HIS words as the greatest of the commandments. Talk about a mission in itself!

“He tells the scribe that the great commandment, which indeed includes all, is, that of loving God with all our hearts. Wherever this is the ruling principle in the soul, there is a disposition to every other duty. Loving God with all our heart, will engage us to every thing by which he will be pleased.—Matthew Henry Concise”


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Additionally we had some Q & A about where people "look" for hope, what "we" put our trust in, and a false sense of hope.

I pulled from the resources at hand, and as a mother of four I shared a brief clip from Veggie Tales Easter Carol where Hope sings.


3:52

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After this discussion I also shared the short film: The Butterfly Circus. <--click link
I was one of a handful of people that were sent a DVD for free with one request, that we share the story. I hope that if you have not seen it you will find 20 minutes to watch!

I will try to find an alternate version though if I receive comments that this version laggs too much. :)




*****NOTE: 4/29/12: The original site I worked with when I put this study together seems to default to BibleStudyTools.com which is great, but not as good as the original site I was using. If I find a better link I will update again.


LEXICON search:
HEBREW
GREEK

Healing

Healing
What do the scriptures say when it comes to healing:
Matthew 9:29 NAS
Then He touched their eyes, saying, "It shall be done to you according to your faith."

Matthew 9:22 NAS
But Jesus turning and seeing her said, "Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well." At once the woman was made well.

Mark 5:34 NAS
And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction."

Mark 10:52 NAS
And Jesus said to him, "Go; your faith has made you well." Immediately he regained his sight and began following Him on the road.

Luke 8:48 NAS
And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace."

Luke 17:19 NAS
And He said to him, "Stand up and go; your faith has made you well."

Luke 18:42 NAS
And Jesus said to him, "Receive your sight; your faith has made you well."


Recently I was visiting with an old friend about their trips overseas to areas and countries that have much affliction and much need of healing. They have no medical help beyond very basic means...they have no hope other than God...nothing else that can cure them or help them.

So I think...no wonder many of us in this country *United States* don't experience healing in similar ways...we have too much science and medicine to explain away every ache and pain, surgeries/scans/medicines to fix every need... and YET don't get me wrong...
I believe fully that God has given many in our country skills and wisdom to help people through medicine this is not my focus. I'm not saying let your child die when they can go to the hospital to be cured or get medicine to keep them alive.

What I am saying is a mental focus, a heart thing...the people in some of these countries have nothing, they have poured their lives out, they have no hope until the message of the Gospel has been preached to them and they say God if you are God bring healing to this body, come fill my life, change my family and bring peace to my home...they have a faith that brings them to a place that God is able to fill because they have emptied themselves fully...they have nothing else in their mind that says...oh you don't need to worry if God doesn't heal you from ..xyz..because you can go to the clinic and get something.
These people in many places of the world are crying out..."God heal me, God save me, for if you don't I will surely die".

Now I don't have answers for the people who have cried out to God to bring healing and it didn't come...we can trust though that God is Good...that every thing will serve a purpose...perhaps God knew that your loved one needed healing beyond the confines of this world and you were able to walk through it to bring you closer to Him. To bless others with the life you have here...

Relationships

Relationships...what does that word make you think of?
While this writing may not feel inspired to me as some of my other blogs where the words seem to flow from some deeper place. I have been pensive and thought I would share my thoughts tonight and ask for your opinions and personal insights. There are many questions here for you to consider and I would love to hear back from you! My brain is the type of "overthinking" brain that can generate many questions and ideas...so if you can handle that, read on. :) This is written primarily to women, but may be relatable to some men as well.

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I often think about relationships...with family, friends, coworkers, and those we interact with on a day to day basis.

I think about how good it feels to have at least one great friend that completely "get's you" and you can pick up and leave off as if no time has passed. Someone who doesn't have to be exactly like you, but for some reason you click and it just feels effortless, refreshing, and even when there is a disagreement, you manage to get through it together.

Some people never experience a good healthy friendship or a good healthy family relationship. Others try to have as many relationships as they can while some are content with just one or two.

Where do you find yourself in relationships?
A giver...a taker...or somewhere balanced in between? (Ebb & flo)
Many...few...or seeking for someone that "get's you"?
Do you find yourself the center of attention or a go-with-the-flo type of friend when you get together?
Are you always the driver or are you the friend that often has to be the first to call shot-gun? Do you ever experience moments where you feel like the 3rd wheel in friendships or a mixture of things depending on who you are with?

I think about conversations I've had with people over the years and some of these questions have come up. I also feel that as a society we are less relational than we once were. Social media is connecting more people these days, but it's still not the same as a face to face friendship. Someone who will let you be you no matter what, someone who can see your house a mess, as well as your life, and still accept you. I don't know too many people these days that know all their neighbors and interact with them daily.

What advice would you give to someone who continually invests in others but often feels that those they have invested in are not as interested in investing in them? Is it easier to think of what you would say to someone in the reverse situation. I suppose in reverse the person may not have many true friendships.
Would you tell that person that they are 'chasing the wind' or that they are putting too much thought into it? Would you applaud them for the heart they have to love and care for others no matter what, even if it is never returned?
Do you think this happens more in family relationships or in friendships?
Do you think there is more of a need to try harder when it comes to family or give up easier due to enhanced expectations?
Do you find yourself concerned with what people think or what God thinks regarding the choices you make in your life concerning the way you treat, talk about, spend time with, or care for others?

I think one's perspectives in life about faith, people, and values would skew any answer while, at the root, all people want to be accepted. Why do you think it's easier to discount some people based on a set of criteria? Self-preservation, fear, trust, difficulty, comfort, or all of the above?
Boundaries are important though, do you feel that setting healthy boundaries is necessary and not being exclusive towards others? I have known friends and family that would be quick to write anyone off if they did not see a return on their relationship-investment immediately or if there were ever a disagreement. Have you experienced this?

I don't think that we are meant to be in close relationship with everyone. There is something to be said about friendships (and family) that seem to flow naturally and comfortably, but what do you do when relationships or friendships are tense, uncomfortable, or awkward? I know from experience that kindness is not always the easiest or comfortable response, but as much as we are able, I believe it is good to be kind to everyone.
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I know a woman who felt connected for the first time to a peer, after a season of feeling alone and living in a new town. This woman had longed for a sister-like friend for some time and was thankful to God when she thought that she was connecting with an acquaintance and seeing their friendship blossom deeper as she viewed this person like a sister she never had. She invested time, prayer, support, and involvement with her life during good and hard times, but never felt that same interest reciprocated. She continued to press on, but after a year decided to pull back seeing that her friend had many other close relationships.
She wasn't investing in this person simply to get something out of it, but she realized that maybe her investment was not valued at the same level as she would have hoped. It's not that she wasn't a good friend and isn't still when they occasionally see each other, she just didn't feel that this person was interested in being more than an acquaintance. or outer-circle friend, and she accepted that. She did feel slightly depressed at first, as she recognized a time of grief for the loss of what she hoped would be a true sister-like friendship, but she continued to hope and trust that God would provide a sister in faith as like iron that sharpens iron.

Have you ever been in her shoes? I have.
Do you think that God puts this longing in the hearts of women to have connections with each other that go beyond "Hi, how are you...fine thanks and you? Bye, nice to see you, have a good day." ? Do you think experiencing this helps us to grow and mature so that we don't take people for granted? I can imagine that we each have our inner-circle relationships and our outer-circles. I can also guess that not always the people in our inner-circles consider us to be in their inner-circles. It's not an obligatory placement, but a personal choice we each make based on comfort and connections.

Some of you reading this can relate to my friend. How have you struggled with this?

Others may not relate, but have good advice and enjoy great sister-like friendships.
What advice would you give to women who are praying for some "Iron" and a Sister in the faith that "get's them"? --OR for women that have not experienced healthy relationships, but are seeking God to give them insight and provision and help them set boundaries.

I don't know if all women long for this type of friendship, some may consider it desperate or co-dependent....but I would be willing to guess that some men even long for a friend that "get's them" that knows them well and is there through hard times and good times. First and foremost I understand that God needs to be our truest source of hope and our confidant, but there is something to be said also for a tangible relationship between two people and I believe God designed us for relationships.

I think if we rely on our spouses (if we are married) to fully fill this need we may burden them in a way...however I also know of some couples that are truely each other's best friend and they are able to communicate and relate in a way deeper than any friendship. (which is quite awesome)

I do personally believe that it is unhealthy and potentially damaging for someone to have a close sister-like or brother-like friend that is of the opposite sex who is given more time than your spouse. That is just asking for trouble no matter how long you've had that friendship or how strong you think you are. If you are married, you should do what you can to invest in your marriage relationship above all else for as long as God gives you time to do so. You both need friendships, but they shouldn't trump the vows you took to become one. Make time for your spouse! If your marriage is unhealthy or controlling though I would suggest seeing a trusted counselor or pastor.




Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, So one (wo)man sharpens another.

Second Chances

Have you ever thought about "second chances"? What comes to mind when you read that phrase? Do you think biblically? Do you think of times when you've given them? Do you think of when you've recieved them? Here are some thoughts I had recently on the topic.


Often, it seems that the second chance is even more important or meaningful than the first chance. Why is that? Do we feel we have to prove ourselves? Why do we put more effort in the consecutive chances?

Right now I'm thinking of games or sports. You have a task to complete in a set amount of time within certain parameters. If you fail the initial objective you are then allowed to continue trying until you are able to complete it.

Tonight I watched my daughter compete on a game for about half an hour doing her best to beat the same level over and over again. Each new turn she was more determined than ever to accomplish her goal.

Do you think multiple chances at things in life spur on our motivation and empower our determination? I think if we never had to work for anything we would not truly learn and we wouldn't know how to appreciate that which we do have.

What about second chances in life? Have you or someone you have known experienced a second chance in life, be it figuratively or literally? Mistakes can be made and it sure feels good to know that forgiveness is available and that you can move on.
Second chances at life in the literal sense can range from a rough diagnosis that improves, to a risky operation, to an illness, or even just the timing of God.

What would you do right now if someone close to you (or yourself) were faced with an opportunity to experience a second chance at life? Most people who have 'near death' experiences come back radically transformed and live life with much more purpose.

I have been given so many second, third, and hundredth chances growing up in life...making bad decisions and having to face that consequence. We never really feel we deserve this mercy when we know we've done something wrong.

Sometimes when bad things happen we don't know why, but there are loved ones that don't get a second chance at life and we feel they left us too soon. I can't say why someone who seems not to deserve it recieves it or why someone who seems to deserve it doesn't, but we can know that God does. Perhaps what we have to remember is that what He has for us is ALWAYS better, even if you can't understand it now.

I think of a well known man in the bible who was getting quite old and near death. He asked for a second chance, it was granted, but in a way he kind of blew it.

We all live on borrowed time and tend to take for granted what we have. We assume we'll all live to 60, 70, 80...etc. We find it easier to nurse a grudge or hurt feelings than to love unconditionally.

Be purposeful with your time, choices, families, etc. If you've been given a second chance know that God has a plan for your life.

Whirlwinds

Have you ever experienced a situation in life that left you feeling like everything was swept up in a big whirlwind and scattered beyond eyesight?

I've been there and it's not an easy place. Your emotions are fractured and your stomach is in knots.

You want to shout, scream, cry, deny, or even escape.

But you have to be strong for those that need you the most, especially if you are a parent. There will be time to heal and God will be with you. It may not be easy in the least, but if you empty yourself completely and let God fill you back up you will be strengthened. More than likely you'll still be able to pour out your life into others but, for a time, you may need to let God use others to fill you up and hold you up.

Nothing in life is for certain except God.

He has and does perform miraculous things and perhaps you may be on the edge of a miracle in your own life.

Don't let go of God in the hard times because you will need His strength to get through them.